This is taken verbatim from the back label of a package of oats we recently took trekking with us:
'Avee's White Oats
"The must everyday cereal"
Avee's Hi Fibre White oats soluble fibre has qualitatively low fats and reduces excess of pressure on blood, intestines resulting into a smooth health to withstand odds of life. Hence keeps a person mentally, physically, sexually, young and fit with longevity, helps in containing weight and reduces excess calories.
Regular use of Avee's Hi Fibre White Oats will be miraculous to keep the physique in splendid atmosphere in good moods and thoughtful calibre.'
Reading through the Hindustan Times today (the illustrious The Times of India's competition and, FYI, started by one of Gandhi's sons), I came across two bits of information that grabbed my attention. One because it was rather shocking, the other because it was gibberish.
First, the shocking. This was part of an editorial titled "A classroom struggle", discussing the state of India's schools:
"If last week it was the severe step of having to file FIRs [charges] against teachers in the face of a staggering number of cases of abuse of children, a Unesco report has found that 25 percent of teachers do not bother with attending school. Absent teachers result in a whopping 22,5 percent of education funds being wasted. Add to this a previous report compiled by the Ministry of Human Resource Department that shows 23,000 schools across India have no teacher, and the picture is frightening."
Um, yeah. Frightening would be a good place to begin.
Second, the baffling. Can anyone decipher this for me? I suppose that any sport has some jargon involved, but this one has me completely stumped:
"India has managed to prise out the first wicket in the 32nd over - the second was quicker in coming when, 15 balls later, Alistair Cook exited. It was, yet again, a ball down the leg-side from Anil Kumble, Cook tried to flick it and again, it was Laxman who took the catch, at leg gully."
I think they're talking about cricket but I can't be completely sure. Anyone? Anyone at all have any concept of what the dilly that's supposed to mean? Help would be appreciated.